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London Confessional


Posted by Anon (!) Sep 2005 in 'Suggest a new Forum:' How about a forum where we can tell secrets publicly and bare our soles and release that devil from our head so we don't have the pressure hanging over us.



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Confessional i had the same experience...  

...when i first came to london and actually for the next five years after that. i think it is because london is a place where people come and go a lot - people move often and everyone is busy with the fast life in a big city.
i found it really helpful to join sports groups, such as a hiking group, or a women's sports club where you meet the same people once a week and socialise after teh exercise. you get to know each other a little bit and if you stick with it, you might make some "proper" friends.

where i met really lovely friends is the crossroads women's centre in kentish town. i started volunteering there and have been helping out there ever since (3 1/2 years!) a lot of women's groups and different campaigns are based there. google it if you are interested.

:-) h.

Post reply -->London Confessional h. 10 Jan
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Confessional I feel like that from time to time too!  

I'm not originally from London and although i have friends i would like friends who don't just phone me to ask me to rave and then i don't here from them until it's time to rave again. I think a lot of people in London are not very good at making and keeping friends if they don't live in the same area as them to me a friend is a friend no matter what distance they live from me! there is no such thing as distance when it comes to friendship with me, and if you feel the same and you want to make a friend then i'm here anyway seeyah all x  Mail-me 

Post reply -->London Confessional cj 12 Jan
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Confessional Friends wanted!  

I think there's loads of us in the same boat! So let's do something about it... I've lived in South East London for the past 6 years, I have made a few 'true' friends during that time but London being what it is, many of them have literally now moved to the other side of the Earth. So I find it's a constant struggle to keep a wide enough circle of friends for those times when I fancy chatting with someone that at least one number in my mobile (other than my immediate family) is actually at home! If anyone is in the same boat and fancies meeting a group of total strangers in a pub in central or SE London one night then drop me an email  Mail-me  and I'll arrange it. Just think if you go out to meet 10 new people every month and only one of them becomes a good friend then that's 12 new friends you'll have in your address book by the end of 2007 ;)

Post reply -->London Confessional Debbie 14 Jan
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Confessional  

I have had the same difficulties. I think part of it is that people move in and then from London in a few years. People have busy and hectic lives, and have little time for contact with other people. I have made some friends and felt gutted when they moved away.

 Mail-me 

Post reply -->London Confessional Suna 11 Feb
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Confessional Is it just me?  

It can be hard to make friends anywhere. It's not London, it's personal circumstance. I lived in London 12 years ago and found it very hard. This time around, it's very easy. Everywhere is difficult until you know how to go about it. I have lived in many places, and now realise that outside of your hometown it's hard, but London is most definately not the hardest place to be!

Post reply -->London Confessional Margaret 11 Mar
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Confessional Re: is it just me???!!  

I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN! I'm from Spain but I've lived in London for the past 12 years and I find it extremely hard, people here do not like talking to each other or saying goodmorning or smile!......I have always felt alone although I'm married with three kids but I am quite young and most of the mums are older the situation with the mums in the playground is awful they are soooooo cold! I recently read an article in The Times about this so I don't think we are the only ones to think this way. Good luck, it is not easy living here

Post reply -->London Confessional 14 Jun
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Confessional I feel like i wasnt even born Here!  

Hi, I know how you feel! I only moved a few miles up the motor way to London but london feels so alien when it comes to making new friends it feel like a lot of people here don't know the meaning of friendship! If you want to start here replying to me then you won't be disappointed take care and Happy new year x  Mail-me 

Post reply -->London Confessional cj 12 Jan
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Confessional hidden thoughts  

I just wanted to say that even with a good job, fairly good looks and a couple of close friends I still can feel so utterly unconfident and unworthy of anything, and sometimes have to 'pretend' to be confident, especially during the day at work. I worry that people can see through to the real, scared, unsure me and I get overwhelmed with anxiety. It's like a feeling that people are smirking at me and thinking I'm not good enough. It's almost laughable when some friends say they envy my confidence when we go out. I went through a hellish time at school thanks to nasty, bitchy girls at school (who were very subtle in their bullying) and I think it's left its mark. I never addressed the issues and kept it all bottled up, I suppose ashamed of it all. I'm female and 27.
Just wanted to share that. Can anyone relate...?

Post reply -->London Confessional 29 Dec
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Confessional  

While i have never felt the same as you i have recently spilt from a girl who felt the same as you, maybe worse. We were due to get married next year, how ever the whole anxiety lead her to call off the wedding. everyday she worried about her wrk, weight, health and looks. The best your freiends can d is to try and reasssure you when ever you can. i know it can be hell so if you ever want to chat please email me!

Post reply -->London Confessional icanhear@hotmail.com 29 Dec
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Confessional  

I can relate. Sometimes feel like I'm a fraud at work and am just waiting to get found out. But i think/know thats not the case, but it doesn't stop me feeling like that. Despite having good friends, often find myself feeling extremely lonely in London. I'm male, 29 and hoping that turning 30 will be the start of something good!

Post reply -->London Confessional 30 Dec
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Confessional  

You are describing myself....

Post reply -->London Confessional 5 Jan
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Confessional I Can Relate you.....  

Awww... Bless u!! I know exactly how you feel love. It's alrite doe at least you can pretend which is more than can be said for me. I get overwhelmed by anxiety as well. I really do feel as doe people can see right through me, like I'm transparent and that makes me feel anxious. It's easier said than done but you need 2 be confident in yourself. It's hard, and It's not going to happen overnight but give it time. Good Luck!

Post reply -->London Confessional joanna 27 Mar
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Confessional  

That's kind of what I feel too. Mainly I have this deep seated bitterness towards the girls who put me through such a difficult time at school when I was 15/16 - silent phonecalls, poison pen letters etc.-even 10yrs later I feel so bitter that I never really resolved my feelings, and that they somehow 'got away with it'. I met a great bloke around that time too, and I know if we'd met now it would have been a fantastic relationship, but I was so self-conscious and such an emotional wreck with zero confidence that he was a bit irritated by my insecurity and possessiveness and it never really took off.I am consumed with a feeling of 'what could have been'. I feel those girls in effect ruined my mental peace and previous happy personality, and also what could have been the best experience of my life. I just can't get rid of that feeling and I get so down when I think about it. Surely I shouldn't still be feeling like this all this time later??

Post reply -->London Confessional 30 Dec
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Confessional I am in desperation  

Hiya I am a male 22 years old, you know that sometimes we manage to control our feelings but we cannot. Well it could seem to be silly so I have to accept that I am silly... Anyway, last week I went out and I met a guy in a club, we liked each other, I guess, since he asked to go to another club with him. However, as in the meantime I met another guy, I ignored the one I really like. I don't know why but I think about him every day. Help me, please!

Post reply -->London Confessional skanner2006@hotmail.com 30 Nov
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Confessional Guy in desperation  

Sort yourself out! Why ignore someone you like?

Post reply -->London Confessional Margaret 11 Mar
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Confessional Are u in desperation yet  

That is so weird man!!! Where are you from?

Post reply -->London Confessional Zwadwa 20 Apr
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Confessional ... In response to Peter....  

I’m interested in what you consider to be my responsibilities to a ’16 year old boy’? He was not a virgin when I met him. In fact he taught me a thing or two!

He was much more mature than any 16 year old that I have ever come across before. In fact I was shocked when he finally revealed his true age to me – but by then it was too late.

I am most definitely an ‘adult woman’, at 41 I think I can safely say this.

Don’t get me wrong, I know there is no future in this for either of us, but it’s convincing him of that!


Post reply -->London Confessional B. 21 Oct
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Confessional  

You go girl! Life is far far too short. It would be difficult to have a future with him (shared interests/conversation/meeting friends and family/he still has to go to uni..........) but you're both above the age of consent and I'm fairly sure he's loving it as much as you are. Enjoy it for what it is, just don't start planning futures

Post reply -->London Confessional Jane 23 Oct
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Confessional - Thank you Pip.  

This is the sort of straight-talking advice I think I needed...

Post reply -->London Confessional B. 21 Oct
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Confessional ....thanks Paula.  


Paula, I love your phrase about how I must have felt during this experience of being ‘wonderfully delicious’ – it described it perfectly. As I sit here typing this out and re-living it all again I feel more alive than I have felt in months.

I’m not a fool; I know this is not a relationship as he is half way around the world and this all happened almost a year ago, although it feels like yesterday.

I just don’t understand why it has had such a huge impact on me and I genuinely can’t forget about him and yes he is undoubtedly ‘dating’ as we speak and in a way I hope this is the case, because this is the natural way of things for a young man like him, and finally Paula I do have a lot of self worth believe it or not.

In my real life I run my own business and am relatively successful, but obviously you are correct I need to find a man of my own, however, if something isn’t working I tend to jump ship before he has the chance to push me – this is what I am workin

Post reply -->London Confessional B. 21 Oct
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Confessional ...... In reply to Paula.  

Paula,

Thanks for your comments. But when I tell you that he is 16 and I am 41 - does that change the reply you gave to me?

Yes, he does live in the US.

I feel no shame by the way - 'you feel what you feel'.

I think I'm just so consumed by the experience because I am not in a relationship at the moment.

But I know he will eventually come to the UK and want to see me again and I have no clue about what I'm going to do....

Any advice?

Post reply -->London Confessional B. 19 Oct
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Confessional In reply to B from Paula  

Ok. 16 to 41 is a bit of a gap I must admit. As a single woman myself, I know how easy it is to fall into that trap of being with someone simply because you crave the love and attention. It does'nt mean however that the person in question is right for you but you cling on to the relationship because the other choice is, being alone again. Now, this is just a suggestion here but, maybe its time to take a look at your own self worth and get some confidence back in your life. Take a long, hard look at this situation and be honest with yourself. Can you see it going anywhere ? Could you live with the problems that will arise if you do go for it ? Could he ? And not forgetting of course, he could be dating again as we speak.....he's young and eager and not likely to be sitting in at nights reading lol I think you are a bit like me ....... you love the idea of love and you want to be treated like a lady and held and kissed and looked after but dont hang on to something that you know wil

Post reply -->London Confessional Paula 20 Oct
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Confessional  

tell him not to? i mean how do you think the people who are closest to you will rezct when you tell them the news that your 16 yr old lover in coming over from the US? you had your fun now its time to put that behind you and use it as an ego boost to find yourself a man more suitable closer to home

Post reply -->London Confessional pip 21 Oct
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Confessional Not to forget of course ... him.  

He's a sixteen old boy for god's sake, what about your responsibility towards him ... that is assuming you are the 'adult woman' in this relationship which admittedly isn't entirely evident from what you've written so far.

Post reply -->London Confessional Peter 21 Oct
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Confessional I guess each situation is different  

When I met my partner I was 17, he was 34, I'm 27 now and we're still together. Initially, yes he had issues with the fact that we had a bit of an age gap (plus we had other issues - we were, for the first year, on different continents) but I felt we were right for each other and it just worked. So I guess each situation is different, and if we try to fit things into some 'wholesome' context, or a kind of "what would the Daily Mail" think of this, we fall into the trap of depending on others for our pleasures, and life is too short for that. As long as we treat people with honesty and kindness, I believe we should explore our desires.

Post reply -->London Confessional Sorab 7 Nov
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Confessional ..... On holiday - part 1  

I also have to get something off my chest and down in print - (god knows why), because I think about it all the time, everyday literally and have done for almost a year now.

Last year in November I went on holiday to South America and spent three fabulous weeks in heaven and then in the fourth week met a young man who I got very intimate with.

Now here's the thing; he was a lot younger than me. I felt so young and adored and worshipped.

While out there we sneaked around a lot, which made the whole experience even more exciting. He fell in love with me (I know), in that younger man sort of way and I went along with it all, because it felt enormously flattering, but I am not so naive, blind, immature or downright stupid to thing there could ever be any sort of future in it.


Post reply -->London Confessional B. 18 Oct
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Confessional Reply to woman with Toy Boy in South America  

You dont give the difference in age but I really dont see what your problem is. How wonderfully delicious to have a younger guy adore you !! My God, I wish I could meet someone like that ! I am assuming this guy lives in America ? Now this could make things a little tricky and if you think you could handle a long distance relationship then I would say have some fun and enjoy yourself with this man. He obviously treats you well and enjoys your company so I would'nt feel stupid or naive .... your biggest problem is the distance.

Post reply -->London Confessional Paula 19 Oct
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Confessional our romance continued  

and she came over recently to stay at my place for 2 weeks. i showed her around london, surrey and the coast, we had such a good time, we did alot in 2 weeks, and we were also able to take the relationship to a physical level of expression. but the day came when her 2 weeks were up, she went back to canada. we are back to talking on msn, she loves me and i love her. but i miss her being here so much. she still wants to come and live and work here, and be with me, but alas i dont know yet how long that will be/take. i feel that i finally found a woman who loves and accepts me for just being exactly who i am and im hurting because she is 3 thousand miles away again. what does one do?

Post reply -->London Confessional love 18 Oct
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Confessional our romance  

imagine this, met a woman, on the internet, in an msn group, she lives in canada and i began chatting to her on msn. over time, we got to know each other very well, she said at the start that she wanted to come to england to live and work, as she lives in canada. i fell for this woman, so i told her how she makes me feel, and to my surprise she told me she had felt the same for some time. after 18 months of chatting, on microphones and typing, exchanging letters and gifts in the post, we decided we had to meet. so we booked two weeks off work she booked her flight from canada to england

Post reply -->London Confessional scott 18 Oct
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Confessional .... on holiday  


My problem is that really miss him, and I feel that I am in love with this guy.

We had long intelligent conversations, and he was so much more mature beyond his years - so it was not all about just good sex.

When I came back home he called me about half a dozen times and my feelings were just as strong then, when I was with him, as they are now. After a while I deliberately stopped answering his calls because I started to feel scared about what I really wanted to do.

I have never felt like this before and it's a bit strange really.

Are there any other women out there who can relate to what I'm saying - because I haven't told another soul.

Well not including the specifics.



Post reply -->London Confessional B. 13 Oct
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