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London Confessional





I want to be a mother

I've turned 40, & still haven't found a man that I can really trust (all the horrors seem to gravitate to me), so I'm seriously considering using a donor, even if it means me being a single parent. I'm a responsible, hard-working person, with a good sense of humour, so I'm shocked & embarrassed to find myself in this position.

In my twenties, I'd never have considered doing such a thing - I assumed I'd meet the right person, get married & have at least 2 children by now, yet here I am suddenly at this age, having failed on all 3 levels. I've joined some online dating services & do get some replies to my ads, but then I can't work up the courage to reply. I don't know why - I'm normally so confident, & yet I can't do this, & find any excuse in the book not to send the e-mail. I don't feel it's too late to meet the right person, but if I keep on going the way I am, it will be. Then I'll end up as the old woman that sits at her window watching the world go by with a cat on my lap.

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